More than a Bio: Meet Kieran

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How do you introduce a gentleman like Kieran Evans? Do you expound upon his obsession with Batman? His love of (bad) karaoke? Perhaps his ability to “hold his own” in pub games?

None of these aspects will be the focus today. We’ve chosen to spend most of our time this week narrowing in on one of his biggest pet peeves… Spoilers.


What was the last movie you saw?

The Hobbit. I’ll watch anything with Sméagol in it. FYI: Microsoft Word autocorrects Sméagol to add the accent mark.

You’ve gone on record to say that one of your biggest pet peeves is movie spoilers. Can you elaborate on that for me?

Do NOT tell this guy what happens at the end of Dark Knight rises.

Great question. First let me say that there are rules for spoiling. Let’s establish these ground rules before we get into anecdotal evidence.

On Movie Spoilers: The degree of popularity of the movie, the accepted perception of quality of the movie (see: rottentomatoes.com), as well as personal interest to the potential spoilee, can all affect the length of time for spoiler silence. This can feel highly subjective, but talking about The Dark Knight Rises in week 2 of its release is absolutely forbidden. However, talking about Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (that’s a real movie title) at any point in time? Go for it. So as a general rule, let’s just say roughly 1-2 weeks.

On TV Spoilers: There’s a lot of TV out there, and it’s difficult to fit it all in while trying to work a full-time job. So with that in mind, the time for TV spoiler silence is set at only 1-2 days. If you can’t watch the finale of Lost within two days of it occurring, then you just don’t care enough about the show to merit being involved in (or spoiled by) any discussions about it. FYI: It was somewhat disappointing.

Now this isn’t to say that once the allotted time passes, you can run through the streets shouting “Darth Vader is Luke’s father!” (Editor’s Note: What?!) We need to be responsible in our discussions of spoiler content. That means:

  • Being aware of people in earshot
  • Asking if a person has seen the show/movie before initiating a discussion
  • Resisting the urge to post to social media
Homer does not understand spoiler etiquette

This last one can be exceptionally dangerous. One moment, you’re perusing Facebook, reading about the banal minutia of someone from high school, and the next, you’re finding out what happens at the end of Season 4 in Dexter (true story).

If you are going to post to social media, be vague. You can relate how much you enjoyed something without ruining it for other people. At the very least, you can offer up a tag. Anyone with a modicum of self-control can stop themselves from reading past one of these tags.

What was the most recent thing that got spoiled for you?

This is kind of an interesting one, because I’m not 100% certain that it is a spoiler, so I don’t necessarily have negative feelings about it. I was discussing the imminent premiere of Game of Thrones Season 3 with a few friends (who have also read the books). The final books in the series have yet to be released, so there is officially no ending to be spoiled.

However, one of my friends related to me that some diehard fans online have worked out the endgame of the story by decoding subtle messaging throughout the previous 5 books. Having heard this theory, I can’t help but believe that I now know the ending of Game of Thrones. Whatever you do, do NOT search for “Game of Thrones ending theory!”

About the Author

Placeholder image for Noel Bartocci

Noel Bartocci

Design Researcher & Copywriter